PAY THE MAN!
There are fewer eating places on the windward side of North Shore than the sunset side. This led us one day to The Crouching Lion. I had read some warnings in a few books and websites like "...keep driving!" We stopped for lunch and so I have decided to list a few of their strengths.
1. Regular customers were heard calling staff members "auntie," which I love.
2. There is a full bar.
3. If you sit outside you have an ocean view across the street.
4. There is a delicious local fruit salad.
5. Rose' by the glass.
6. Locals hang here. Not the neo-locals, but multi generation locals. Maybe even some actual Hawaiians.
7. The Birdguy works here! See below...
At the top of the stairway from the parking lot, between the lounge and the game room, there is a little yard set up with a flock of clip-winged tropical birds. They are trained by "THE BIRDGUY" to assemble with the tourists into the best group photo I've seen.
They are also trained to close. As in sales. The sign is worded to encourage "donations" to help "THE BIRDGUY" buy seed for the little darlings. As I reached the yard he placed a pink headed exotic creature on my finger. He distributed a charming feathered representative to each of us and asked if we would like him to take a picture of us with the birds for a small donation.
Being in my usually afternoon grumpy mood, I said no thanks and continued to baby talk the pink topped parrot on my finger. The bird lunged at me but I flinched before he could bite. "THE BIRDGUY" grabbed little pink stuff and placed him back on a perch. The parrot began shrieking at me as he stomped his feet and swayed from side to side.
I'm not completely sure but it sounded like he was saying, "PAY THE MAN! I HATE YOU! YOU SUCK!
MAUREEN LANDWe met Maureen, the massage therapist in '06 during our stay at Keiki beach. Christi spotted a little home-made sign for oceanfront massage so we called her up. Back then she was set up at Keiki Beach Bungalows but this year, much to our delight, she also does out calls.
Maureen is one of the very best massage therapists I've experienced, and I think Christi would agree. We had her come over and set up on our balcony overlooking the beach. She works really strong but never to the level of pain or discomfort. Her quick intuition takes her to the problem spots without too much verbal interaction.
Unless you want to talk. Maureen also has the gift of gab. Or maybe it's me. She can sense when a person needs to zone out, as reported by Christi and Rick who both claim she was quiet as night during their massages. Without spoiling the plot, I'll just report that I've been lucky enough to catch her during her story telling moods and she is hilarious, wise, and world weary.
I love Maureen. You will, too. Oh yeah, she also does out call airbrush tanning, if for some reason you need a quick tan. 808-782-1000
HORSEBACK RIDING WITH LINDA
We just spent our third vacation in a row on the North Shore of Oahu. Each fall we've rented a house on the beach and for the past two years we convinced our good friends, Christi and Dan Schimpke, to go with us. Actually this year it took no convincing.
We made a couple of new discoveries this year. One is a great horseback riding tour in Kahuku with a retired woman cop named Linda. She (and her horses) were really good with the less experienced rider and let us open the horses up on the beach. The ride started at Linda's stable and cut over some gorgeous North Shore rural farm land.
Within minutes the dirt trail became sand and we were on a long abandoned stretch of beach. My horse, Opal, the self appointed alpha female, was half Arabian and half quarter horse and she took off like a shot. When everyone caught up Linda tried to assemble the group for a photo, which was pretty amusing. Christi's horse, Peaches, is a retired polo horse, vying for a promotion in the group. At one point I looked back just as Peaches had bitten Mr. Krinkles who was bucking sideways. Rick, the greenhorn of the group, hung on like J. J. Elshere. Dan's horse, Sunfire, was the laid back horse who seemed to get along with everyone.
We wound through some trees and the trail ran along the edge of Kahuku Golf Course, a reasonably priced public course if you're so inclined. We passed a nicely located old graveyard that dated back to the 1800's. Linda has a great gift of gab and knows and loves her horses. Pack a pair of jeans if you think you might ride. 808-293-8081
